It wasn't that nice and pleasant after starting college once again. It's good to know that the people used to exist, spend countless time &effort just to be with you for just a simple session and catch up with what had gone so wrong in mind, just in thoughts how wonderful and awesome one could be, as much as how malicious and nasty he could turn to in just a couple of days, boy!
Neither these or thats are bothering me afterall. It's more than that to occupied the brain cells lately, college has been so unkind to me and buried me with lots of assignments these days. But many have said, this is just the starting - can I find myself a good hideout for the semester break nao? Just a little too early before everything has an answer to them, I was a little freak out now.
No one, (not my parents, my sister, my grandpa/grandma, aunties or friends) not even any of the closest ones in my life could give me a definite answer of my path in days to come, 10 years kah? Or maybe eventually after I graduate from any institution. Indecisive is playing a role in me so often, I can't even decide what to eat for breakfast sometimes. When one is exposed to variety of choices, multiples of selections, tell me if you could. It's not easy when you have to really settle down for a decision you have to bear with tonnes of consequences later. I can't imagine how would it turned out to be in 5 years time, sweeping floor by the street or working my career out in a company. Neither any of these is what I want, thought of leaving and you know, probably a backpack traveler, in that sense I get to explore more interesting happenings around the globe. This is just a dream, too good to be true and what more allowing that to happen.
Neither you nor me knows what's gonna happen, as if some psychic could predict our future, perhaps larh. Wait till you found one and I met mine, I post here kay? (And he's gonna make lots of munneh. FHL) I've been bragging so much about my future and career, I conceived of writing more on my relationships and personal stuffs. Too much of exposure to the blogosphere may somehow creeps me off sometimes.
As it did, as always.
14/07/2010
I was so enthralled of the wholesome ideas and plans of going over to the another end of the country but also remains really anxious of getting to another unfamiliar places. It just feel so fuckin' good to get out of my own comfort zone and opt for some challenging adventures; alone. But this thing just didn't get too far. Plans always remain as just plans. I had so many stuffs in mind, lately; bearing too much them consumed so much of brain juice and memory cells somehow lead me to bury myself into this whole dead me. A body without a soul and mind, does this makes sense to you now?
This may sounds stupid but I can take up to 1001 changes made to my life, but am just the girl you can basically grab one from the street; looking out for the perfect one in a relationship. Mind me, what I meant is someone who may just treat me right and deserve me. All I've gone through lately put me to a second level of thoughts, deeper and inner. I no longer feel the same anymore after what we've gone through lately. Wouldn't I conclude that you have changed, but things just tend to outgrow themselves in the matter of time and place. As the saying goes, promises are meant to be broken but I do hold on promises when I think it's really worth holding on but I no longer find any reasons for myself to think that way anymore longer. It's been piling up these thoughts ever since things just didn't go right. It did not gone left, but it gone so wrong; I can't help feeling very vulnerable to what you have always did to me.
Well, it's totally not wrong when you hold up to a certain expectations from your partners occasionally but not at most times, all you do was just expecting and not giving in. Therefore, why do you expect the another half to be the one committing into this one-sided relationship? It's not gonna bring you closer, but further!
I need to sign off for my assignments, dang!
Neither you nor me knows what's gonna happen, as if some psychic could predict our future, perhaps larh. Wait till you found one and I met mine, I post here kay? (And he's gonna make lots of munneh. FHL) I've been bragging so much about my future and career, I conceived of writing more on my relationships and personal stuffs. Too much of exposure to the blogosphere may somehow creeps me off sometimes.
As it did, as always.
14/07/2010
I was so enthralled of the wholesome ideas and plans of going over to the another end of the country but also remains really anxious of getting to another unfamiliar places. It just feel so fuckin' good to get out of my own comfort zone and opt for some challenging adventures; alone. But this thing just didn't get too far. Plans always remain as just plans. I had so many stuffs in mind, lately; bearing too much them consumed so much of brain juice and memory cells somehow lead me to bury myself into this whole dead me. A body without a soul and mind, does this makes sense to you now?
This may sounds stupid but I can take up to 1001 changes made to my life, but am just the girl you can basically grab one from the street; looking out for the perfect one in a relationship. Mind me, what I meant is someone who may just treat me right and deserve me. All I've gone through lately put me to a second level of thoughts, deeper and inner. I no longer feel the same anymore after what we've gone through lately. Wouldn't I conclude that you have changed, but things just tend to outgrow themselves in the matter of time and place. As the saying goes, promises are meant to be broken but I do hold on promises when I think it's really worth holding on but I no longer find any reasons for myself to think that way anymore longer. It's been piling up these thoughts ever since things just didn't go right. It did not gone left, but it gone so wrong; I can't help feeling very vulnerable to what you have always did to me.
Well, it's totally not wrong when you hold up to a certain expectations from your partners occasionally but not at most times, all you do was just expecting and not giving in. Therefore, why do you expect the another half to be the one committing into this one-sided relationship? It's not gonna bring you closer, but further!
I need to sign off for my assignments, dang!
I don't want to be needed, I want to be wanted
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